virgo horoscope vogue

Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this here Virgo thing, this horoscope stuff from that fancy magazine, Vogue. I ain’t no scholar, but I can tell ya what I heard and what it all means, best as I can figure.

So, they got these stars up there, right? And them stars, they reckon they can tell ya what’s gonna happen to ya. Sounds like a bunch of hogwash, but folks seem to eat it up, so I guess there’s somethin’ to it. They call it your “sign,” like some kinda road sign tellin’ ya where to go.

This Virgo sign, well, it’s for folks born ’round late August to late September, somethin’ like that. Don’t hold me to it, I ain’t got no calendar in front of me. Anyways, these Virgo folks, they say they’re real particular. Like, gotta have everything just so. Can’t stand a mess, always fussin’ and fixin’. Reminds me of my old hen, peckin’ at every little crumb, gotta make sure it’s just right before she eats it.

Now, Vogue, that’s a fancy magazine. Pictures of skinny gals in clothes I wouldn’t be caught dead in. But they got this horoscope thing, tellin’ ya what the stars say ’bout your week, your month, even your whole darn day. They say Virgo folks gotta listen to their gut this week. That “intuition” they call it. Sounds like plain ol’ common sense to me, but I guess city folk need fancy words for it.

What’s in store for Virgos? Well, it depends on when you’re readin’ this, see? They got daily horoscopes, weekly ones, and monthly ones too. It’s like the weather report, always changin’. One day they say you gonna find a penny, the next day they say you gonna lose your shoe. Can’t put too much stock in it, I say, but it’s fun to read, like them funny papers in the Sunday paper.

Daily Horoscope: This here is like a quick peek at what the day might bring. Maybe you’ll have a good day at work, maybe you’ll argue with your spouse. Who knows? The stars, they say they know.
Weekly Horoscope: This one gives ya a look at the whole week. Good for plannin’ things, I guess. Like, if the stars say it’s a good week for plantin’ beans, well, then maybe you should go plant some beans.
Monthly Horoscope: This here is the big picture. What’s gonna happen this whole month? Maybe you’ll meet a new fella, maybe you’ll get a new job. Or maybe you’ll just keep on doin’ what you always do. That’s usually how it goes, ain’t it?

They say Virgos are hard workers. Always busy, always doin’ somethin’. Can’t sit still for a minute. That’s good, I reckon. Hard work never hurt nobody. But they also say Virgos worry too much. Always frettin’ and fussin’. Gotta learn to let go, I say. Can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try. Life’s like a river, gotta go with the flow, or you’ll just drown tryin’ to swim upstream.

So, what’s the bottom line? Well, I reckon this Vogue horoscope stuff is just a bit of fun. Somethin’ to read while you’re waitin’ for the biscuits to bake. Don’t take it too serious, y’hear? The stars might have somethin’ to say, but you’re the one who’s gotta make your own choices. You’re the one drivin’ the wagon, not them stars.

But hey, if it makes ya feel better to read ’bout what the stars got planned for ya, then go right ahead. Just remember, a good day is what you make it, not what some magazine tells ya it’s gonna be. And if things don’t go your way, well, dust yourself off and try again. That’s what I always say.

So there you have it, the Virgo horoscope according to Vogue, as told by yours truly. Take it with a grain of salt, and don’t forget to feed the chickens. They don’t care about no stars, they just want their corn.